Buster: The Definitive Interview

Some of you may know Buster, our canine child. Buster, a shih-tzu terrier mix, is a very outspoken creature. Whether you are discussing international politics, Sacramento Kings basketball, or the meaning of life, his wisdom is infinite. Though Buster and I have many deep conversations, I have never formally sat down with him to capture his raw take, until now.

Me: Buster, hello. It has been some time now that we have really had a chance to discuss life. How are you?

Buster: (he turns his head to one side and opens his mouth, breaking into a smile)

His silence is clear, he is happy. This is not uncommon for Buster. He chooses his words carefully and often speaks with his eyes and now famous underbite.

Me: Last we spoke, I mentioned how awesome you are, repeatedly. You have a charisma, a joie de vivre, if you will, that seems to permeate from your being. Where do you find this inner peace and happiness?

Buster: (he pants and a paw covers the partially dissected belly of his stuffed duck animal)

Me: Your toys?

I motion toward his toy, carefully placed beneath his left front paw.

Buster: Grrrr. (A soft growl escapes his clinched teeth)

Me: Do you feel you have enough toys? That the world should share in the simple pleasures you take such delight in?

Buster: (watching me very carefully, mouth still clenched, he says nothing)

Me: What about treats, do you like treats?

Buster’s mood instantly changes.

Buster: (His ears perk up and he stands on all fours)

Me: Do you want a treat?

Buster: Woof!

His action solidifies his feelings that we should all embrace life’s simple pleasures more.  I give him a cheddar and beef flavored treat.

Me: Let’s shift gears a bit. Politics. Who do you see taking over the reigns as President in 2016.

Buster ignores me. He has now gone to the floor, where he has his treat between his paws. He gives a quick glance to his stuffed duck, as if to pass the question off. Buster’s disdain for the political system in the U.S. is unparalleled. He reinforces this by signaling for his duck to answer. While duck is a valued friend of his, he is ignorant of the nuances of American politics.

Buster: Grrr. (He senses closeness to his treat, a much more relevant issue at this time than politics)

Me: When you look outside of the U.S., is there a model that you feel America should follow?

Buster jumps up onto all fours, ears perked. Though he is excited, I sense a reluctance to open up about the direction of American politics. As outspoken as he can be, it has become quite a topic of contention between the neighborhood dogs. Their barks are heard well into the night and the chihuahua that lives kitty corner is clearly a devout Republican.

Buster: heh heh heh (excited panting, translating to, “Outside?”)

Me: Do you wanna go outside?

Buster: (jumping up on me) Woof! Ww….woof!

Me: Okay, you win. C’mon, let’s go outside.

Buster, as is the norm, gets what he wants and wins a trip around the block. His distraction technique and shear adorability proves, once again, his genius and ability to duck the important questions of life.

To be continued…

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